(no subject)

[vicedirector]

Who: Bill, Faize, and Urashima
What: a killer dorito
When: Week 9

[ something something illuminati confirmed ]

Comments

[vicedirector]

( Suddenly, an interruption. )

1/3

[minogame]

( Kneeling next to Faize's body, Urashima checks to find the source of the blood. Ah, a head wound? Those don't necessarily have to be fatal! Human bodies are stronger than people think and he checks for a pulse. Thank you battle experience and first aid training. To Bill, it'll look like he's just checking the body in general.

When he realizes Faize has a pulse still, he yells at Inaba, )

Tell them Faize is hurt! And hurry!

[minogame]

( What a relief. He's alive. Faize is alive. He doesn't see any other injuries but he'll still begin to check Faize's body anyway. It doesn't take him long to realize. )

Where...?

( ... is Faize's sword? Something isn't right and he begins to reach for his own sword at his side and getting ready to turn around-- )

[minogame]

( THIS IS MY DYING USERPIC I'M READY )

[billarious]

[Dammit. Dammit why is it Urashima of all people? While the irony is actually kind of hilarious in some respects, he doesn't want to kill the turtle boy. At least not yet? Maybe he would have in the future, he feels the same kind of things about him as he does Faize so maybe he would have been good to kill too, but...oh well. Can't be helped.

Once he's sure the sword's alone, he starts making his move. If he's not quick, he'll be found out, and he can't have that. Weeks and weeks of practicing using a sword with his left hand come in handy here as he comes up behind him and brings Faize's rapier mercilessly down with a left handed strike on his victim. And once the head is completely severed from the body, he steps back again like he did with Faize, just breathing and taking what he just did in.]

Sorry Lil Creep, couldn't let you have a head start on the investigation. Just ain't fair, y'know?

[Yeaahhhh. But no okay. His arm is shaking a little and he's running through some of the back-up plans he'd made in case something like this happened. This was going to be the perfect murder and nothing was going to get in the way of that. He wasn't going to let someone walking in on him ruin that. Of course, he didn't think two people would walk in, and one would be sent to get help. He doesn't have much time.

So he quickly sets to work, using his left hand and the rapier to slice the poor boy in half. It's a little messy, but what can you do? This isn't exactly his dominant hand. That's done and over with though, and the sword is being leaned against a nearby tree so he can set up the first part of this grand scheme: crucifying the body.

The body being Urashima's torso. First he gets the knives he needs and then starts lifting the torso up.]

Okay Lil Creep, up you go. Gotta cooperate with me now, alright?

[As much as you can, at least. He uses Urashima's own blade with a nice stab through the heart to pin him to a nearby tree. Following that, each of his hands are then rooted to the tree with the knives he brought, and Bill steps back to make sure they'd hold. Once he was positive of that, he goes back to the other pieces of this complicated puzzle.]

Man you guys are lucky I like you so much. Wouldn't go through this much trouble for anyone else.

[Alright, so next up he needs to wipe off that murder weapon. Thank you for your help with that, Lil Creep. He's just going to borrow your clothing for now, okay? A good wipe down on both sides and a slip into the sheath later, he's messing up his tracks and then hoisting Faize over his left shoulder. He...can't exactly carry anything with his right arm, so dragging the legs will have to do for now...ugh right and the head. Okay, the head can be tucked between his right shoulder and his chin, and then grabbing the legs by the foot and dragging that into the void with him. Nobody will ever know!! (Everybody is going to know.)]

You know though you're a real...pain in the neck. Haha, get it? Because this is stupidly difficult...to manage...

[So stupidly difficult, in fact, that the head doesn't even make the full trip. It drops the ground at one point, laying sadly in the darkness. And Bill really does wanna get it and bring it with, give it a proper place to stay! But he just doesn't have the time...so the head will just have to stay there, he's gotta keep going.

His travels take him right to the playground, the dragging body continuing to hide his tracks as he moves towards the teeter totter. The legs are just dropped for now because Faize is getting heavy and needs to be set down first, weighing one half of the teeter totter down.]

Alright, so tell me if you've heard this one Lil Creep...

[This is said as he approaches the legs again, picking those up and moving to set them on the other half of the see-saw.]

Well I guess you couldn't hear it now either, since you're head is back there.

[There's a weak laugh that follows the bad joke. Once everything's set up, messes up his tracks as much as possible (any that weren't covered by the body dragging at least anyway) and takes to the sky.]

Okay kids you two have fun! I'll be back to check on you in a little bit, so be good! Don't wander off!

[And with that he's off! Through the void, where he's pulling his coat off and balling it up. No need to drip blood anywhere in his room after all...he flies as fast as he can, making a b-line to the hotel and his open window. Just gotta slip in there and toss the raincoat in the tub...he'll wash that later, after the investigation. And then wash himself up. No blood on his face? Nothing on his hands? All good? ...yup, all good!

Okay...time to just wait for the body announcement. Come here Jerry, let's celebrate a shitty murder well done.]

Ready buddy? It's just about showtime. We'll give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle at the trial! They won't know what hit 'em.